“During the molting period which follows nesting, singing stops: at this time birds have no reason to sing; their energy is going into molting and they do not wish to call attention to themselves.”
pg. 48

from A Bird’s-eye View of Birds by Douglas and Elizabeth Fugitt, which we found at Nisqually this month. Thanks to whomever left it there, I’ve been enjoying it on the bus. Very very basic stuff, but that’s where I’m at.

You know, I could REALLY use two grand right now. I haven’t made a regular living wage in nearly a decade, and I just missed a week’s paycheck to go traipsing around on tour photographing my boyfriend’s band. I’m behind on my student loans and I have to pay more than double the rent next week because the last remaining original roommate moved out and now we have to pay the deposit and get the lease in our names. I mean, things are okay, my current job pays well and I’m catching up, I work 6 days a week (still hanging on to that old job, I’ll quit any day now) I’m just not there yet. I’ve been living inches away from poverty with a smile on my face and wrinkles gathering by the sides of my mouth for idontknowhowlong. If it comes down to it I can still sell my records, my $600 Honda, my old Nikon. (Can’t sell the laptop from Yale though, I’m still under obligation to make some decent art with it. All other computers in the house we’d have to pay someone to take from us!) I’m not complaining.

Still, when I checked my bank balance online today to see if I could make that student loan payment, that shiny deposit of $2033.oo looked like a straigh-up family-television-style miracle.

For a second.

Then of course, I had to admit there was no way it’d be for me, so I clicked on the link to view the details. Seeing a deposit slip meant for a man whose account was 1 digit away from mine, I called customer service to give it back.

Now do you think that customer service thanked me for this? No. This pinched-voiced lady put me on hold for ages and then said they’d look into it and try to correct it. The conversation ended, not with a thank you for being honest and saving them hours of trying to track it down and mail me nsf after nsf post-mad shopping spree., but with this: “THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING ___ BANK ___” Now, I love my bank, more or less, they’ve treated me fairly well over the years, and I’m not interested in trash-talking them here so I’ll leave out the name. But the whole thing was just so unfriendly and brusque that I googled the Deposit Guy’s name and there was his phone number - I called and told him to follow up if it didn’t hit his account soon, trying as hard as possible to not creep him totally out by knowing his account number and cold-calling. At least HE said thanks.

Dude. $2033 is nearly a quarter of what I still owe on my student loans. 25%!!!

Sigh.

Well, had to post it here so that my whining could cancel out my nobility and even stuff out again.

Since I spent so much time over at Martin’s blog crafting this response (to a comment that it’s hard to find a good cause to give money to), I thought I should post it here at my poor neglected blog.

“As for finding a good cause being hard and time-consuming, it pains me incredibly to hear such a thing! I work at a fundraising nonprofit in the Seattle area with a mere 6% overhead budget that is, among other things, actively trying to END homelessness. (yeah, I was doubtful too before I started!) We work with and help fund hundreds of partner agencies doing complimentary things in the health and human services area.

I wish I could tell you about all the amazing people, causes, and positive action I encounter every day.

If homelessness isn’t your thing, there are amazing groups of groups working together to fund the Arts, to help with environmental issues, to address world poverty, to support local independent charities, animal rights, gay rights, health and medicine, you name it. Groups like this keep each other honest, help each other keep overhead low, help each other make a difference by working together. Here are some examples:

Seattle/Washington:
http://www.uwkc.org Human Services
http://www.charity.org Global Impact
http://www.esw.org Environment
http://www.wfalliance.org Women’s Issues
http://www.artsfund.org Arts
http://www.pridefoundation.com Social Justice/LGBT
http://www.neighbortonation.org Faith-based

Bay Area:
http://www.uwba.org Human Services
http://www.charity.org Global Impact
http://www.earthshareca.org Environment
http://www.taprootfoundation.org Volunteering

Canada:
http://www.uwlm.ca Human Services
http://www.cnf.ca Environment
http://www.vcn.bc.ca/volbc/volbc/index.html Volunteering

(there are more - name your cause)

Each of these federations has on their websites a list of partner nonprofit agencies they work with, each of whom also have websites with information about what they do, why, how, and how you can help. You can donate to a federation, who will decide where your money will be most effective. You can donate to a nonprofit directly. You can volunteer. You can learn how to adjust your consuming and buying habits to better impact the planet and your community, you can start working for change by working for a cause. (Working for a nonprofit is SO good for your mental health, if only because your coworkers RULE.) You can simply educate yourself. You can ask for help - people at these agencies aren’t trying to hustle you, they’re trying to educate and improve. The only difficult part is deciding what you care about and then deciding to make a difference. Even if it’s only about improving how you treat your fellow man on a day to day basis!

Like Craig, like Martin, like the guy in the desk next to me.”

So yes, I’ve found some incredibly satisfying (and difficult) work, albeit just for the public sector campaign season. I’ll be working at this fantastic nonprofit through January, perhaps a little longer, on a contract basis. Then we shall see after my February Cathedral Band concert if they’d like to renew my contract, or if we can work something out where I work every year for 6 months in just the busiest fundraising season, or if I can find a place in Brand Management or Community Services (I love this job, but fundraising isn’t something I ever considered myself that great at.)

I spend my days booking speakers and tours for my organization and also for all the City of Seattle fund drive events, and things are mighty busy!! But you know me, I love a challenge, and it’s an absolute delight to be surrounded by brilliant people who are all trying to do good.

This is what I wanted, to use my energies for positive things. 8+ hours a day is a lot… I want that time and energy to be used right. Retail was NOT IT. Working for some huge corporation’s shareholders and the hope of a house or some cash is NOT IT. Hustling - not interested.

I’m very thankful to be able to do this and have an income. It really fills the void left by not being able to share music on the regular. Maybe now I can help other artists and people with learning disabilities and at-risk kids do better than I did.

What crime did Bill Clinton / Mark Foley commit? (I didn’t even dare click on that!)

but this one is the worst:
Ladies and Gentlemen, WHAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA. (Including this frightening leap of logic, among others: “The fact that this is typical behavior for homosexuals doesn’t stop us from continuing to elevate such folks to positions where they gain access to our kids.”)
WHAT??? This is a woman who believes strongly in prayer, so let’s help her out and say a few for her. I’ll start: “Lord, please protect this woman and her loved ones from ignorance, hatred, and intolerance.” She has already learned too much in these three categories.

Thanks to Jon Stewart for a hilarious show tonight though. Easy target and all, but still.